Republican National Convention

Dear Diary, I’m here at the Republican National Convention in Minnesota. This is about the farthest I’ve ever been from home. Good thing I got that passport. I’ve been in this room so long. They won’t let me out or talk to anybody. All I do all day is study. I could just shoot somebody right in the face. Hey, Diary, that’s funny. Shoot somebody in the face. Isn’t that what Vice Presidents do? They wrote some really mean stuff for me to say about Barack Obama. It’s really funny. I’m gonna make fun of him being a community organizer but I’m not so sure anyone’s gonna get that cause no one knows what that is. I saw on TV everyone is buying my Kazuo Kawasaki glasses. Obviously, the economy isn’t as bad as they all pretend if people can go out and buy $375 glasses.